Here is a writing prompt exercise by Out of the Well
“Write a list of ten words to describe yourself.
Narrow the list down by underlining three words that define who you are.
Circle or highlight one word that describes you best.
Write about a situation or a series of situations that shows why you are this word.”
I think it is in my nature to be philosophical even before I found a real love of philosophy. When I was a teenager I did a personality test in a psychology class. I am fascinated by those. Anyway like most of those detailed psychological personality tests mine comes out saying I am an abstract thinker, theoretical, philosophical, rational, introverted and analytical. If you want a emotional chat with me be prepared for an awkward conversation where I will try to rationalize it into a broad theory or unemotional terms or avoid it altogether. Just saying it makes sense to me to wrap a theory around anything and everything. I remember theories and concepts more than I remember just about anything. Philosophy is not a belief system or straight facts. It is love of wisdom. It is a lot of theory and logic. It fits fundamentally with my personality type. It is no surprise I found a love for the field. It was like a key fitting into a lock. Sometimes you find a subject matter that just fits the type of person you are.
I went to university as an English major, for lack of any real insight on what to take. I did very well as an English major, don’t get me wrong. I always was an avid reader and one of those people who could whip out an essay that just worked. I preferred to read and enjoy rather than read and analyze every detail though. Sometimes I would write an essay and excel on it but wonder just how accurate the original author would think all that crap was. Now, when I took my first philosophy class I was hooked from day one. I can analyze the structure of philosophical theories in detail. I can talk for hours about them. And the subject mater was just captivating to me! These people I was reading about were thinking about the same big questions that consumed me late at night. Who doesn’t think of the big questions? Not everyone I find because not everyone find any value in them or has any interest in them at all. I once had an in-depth fascinating conversation with my brother once about metaphysics at which at the very end he said ‘It is all very interesting but in the end it doesn’t mean anything.’ What? WHAT? Another great thing about philosophy is that you can get into any area… metaphysics to philosophy of science to phenomenology. There is an area for everyone. A philosophy Of everything! There is a vastness to the field. And such a vast, rich history you can dive into and never leave. And I love theories. I love to wrap theories around things. I love to think about things to they make sense to me, wrap it up in a theory and maybe I will need to alter that in the future but until then I have a concept of what it is. It is why I am agnostic as well. I cannot just believe in something I cannot see that makes no rational sense to me, but I cannot completely exclude all aspects of spiritualism and mysticism either. Yet, I will never have that necessary component… that of faith. I need reasons to believe anything. Still, the subject of religions, in the philosophical sense is fascinating. I have studied it quite a bit along with the history of metaphysics. Just like physics in the philosophical sense is also fascinating. Ontology. Cosmology. I could completely live in those subjects.
I did get my Masters in Philosophy. I would have gone further but my health did not permit it. It was actually a very difficult compromise for me to make and really didn’t make a difference anyway. I think perhaps I would have been happier, in pain, doing something I enjoyed that much than compromising, in pain. Yet it seemed inconceivable to achieve my goals being in that much pain or at least to achieve them at the level that was acceptable to me. Universities have more disability accessible features these days. Still, workforces not so much, so in the end difficult no matter how you look at it. Pain is pain no matter what field you work in. Nevertheless my personality remains one that likes to dig into theories of different fields to just seek knowledge because I want to Know more. I also enjoy reading philosophy because it gets you thinking for the fun of thinking. Generally metaphysics and existentialism these days.
I always wondered if it was a contradiction in my personality that I was rational and philosophical and yet also creative. I think perhaps we all have a little contradiction in our personalities. I am also very reserved and yet have a very goofy sense of humor. Being philosophical comes out in my writing from time to time and it can help a person with their world-building. We often do that quite a bit after all… build entire ontologies to have our world function under. I know some writers that blow my mind with the depth they do that. I also know that fiction writing has always been that outlet for me since I was quite young. I always could express myself in fiction.