random

True? Or extremely true?


10431435_10206112624917450_7512321202113715425_nI have to say as an introvert I am not big on the talky talky unless I am nervous or you get me going on something that I really enjoy like philosophy (has the side effect of boring everyone else generally for some reason. Which is weird. Philosophy rocks!). Point being, not going to go out of my way to describe this awesome story I have. If I admit to writing at all I may tell you my novel in one sentence. If that. Maybe just one word.

When in school and we had class presentations to do. I would literally shake in fear. I almost developed a phobia of talking in front of crowds. I would just tremble so much I could not even read what I had written anyway. Until I began to use this trick on myself: I pretended that no one was listening because no one really listens to other people’s presentations. They are indifferent. They are worried about their own presentation. They are daydreaming. Whatever. Just pretended it was the case and convinced myself it was true. And this worked, for High School. In University I was aware that people really did pay attention to what others were saying and then I got all freaked out again.

So the Very Last thing I would want to do would be to tell a story, mine or not, in front of people. Nope. Not going to happen. Even avoiding eye contact. I would Feel them looking at me.

Quite frankly, in the verbal story department I suck anyway. I am a very absent-minded introvert. Even general stories are all ‘Oh yeah I went to see that new movie out, you know the one… that action one, with that guy that is in, what was it now, he was in that other movie with the cars? Something. Hmmm. Anyway, it was good. His girlfriend dies. Makes him rawr angry.’ People have no freaking idea what I am talking about because I never remember the names of movies or actors. Those things do not stick in my brain. Ever. Also most stories start with ‘I read a study about’ or ‘I read somewhere…’ Basically I have no exciting stories but I seem to have a lot of obscure knowledge. So. Entertaining.

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