random

The night owl


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I have been a night owl all my life. Then, yes, it became insomnia because I needed to run on societies clock… and my clock wasn’t that clock. Which caused lack of sleep. I could not fall asleep on that timeline. And would get little sleep and get sleep deprivation. Sleep paralysis. They called delayed onset insomnia. I already had sleep dysfunction due to fibromyalgia… I get unrefreshed sleep and wake up frequently.

When I am not working, due to my health, I sleep on a 3am to 11am clock. And this works perfectly for me. Why is it that people always want to adjust this? As unhealthy? You must get that sleep cycle sorted they say. Get that in line and slowly adjust it to a normal sleep cycle. Are morning people a ‘normal sleep cycle’? Because I hate that idea quite a bit. I rather enjoy my peace at night. What if it is my normal sleep cycle? I don’t remember it being any different. It only becomes problematic when society inflicts a different sleep cycle upon me… then it is quite problematic indeed. Yes, I do have a sleep disorder and yes it actually makes my sleep very poor. But being a night owl is just… me. I am more productive at night. More alert. Far more creative.

So what I am saying here is that really society is to blame. All those early risers and companies opening at the crack of dawn.

I clearly need to get my writing butt in gear and do this full time. And then I can sleep as I please. Screw society.

I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with being a night owl, except apparently it doesn’t conform. So my sleep cycle is a little backwards? So I prefer darkness? And quiet? And I have a special loathing for the morning, morning people and morning TV. Chatting with vacant eyes and broad smiles about nonsensical things.

Also, night owl, so not morning person. And morning is whenever I get up. Morning is not my forte. It is a zombie like time of grunts and moans. Of incoherent mumbles. Of stumbling around and hitting walls like I am surprised they are suddenly there. My brain doesn’t turn on until three cups of caffeine and a couple hours into the day. If someone says ‘good morning’ in a crisp morning voice I inwardly smack them. I cringe at the sound of their weird morning excitement and motivation. I find it vaguely disturbing and perhaps a sign of a demonic being inhabiting them.

I will continue to write into the wee hours of the morning on days that I can because that is what my brain demands of me. That is what I prefer. If I were to ever be turned into a monster I would prefer a vampire hands down… half way there really.

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